*********************SPOILER ALERT*****************
Oh man, oh man, oh man do i have to GUSSSSH...
So it's July right? us arizonans know that in july it could well reach 125, no problem....well imagine that with humidity!I KNOW! god, it's so hot, i can't wait to be outta this place.
Other than the heat in the tri phoenix area, some other cities are cooling down nicely, and are making for nice day drives when i can't handle my life anymore. Prescott still remains up there in my top list of cities to visit during the summer, i love the little like farmers markets they have...god i don't know what to call em' they're kinda like the little booths you'd find in Times Square, New York...
As for my love life, there are always men who attempt to get to know me, and who are quickly shot and shut down with words of non-encouragement...but the only one who i want to get to know and vice versa, seems life he really just doesn't give a shit, and it's really actually depressing. I mean, he's not just your average guy deep down inside. He's really adorable when he wants to be...but not lately. i don't know; things seem to go back and forth, and maybe that's a sign, but maybe its a good sign he's still in my life. Every night i spend apart from him, i have nightmares that just get worse and worse and i cant handle it, i can't even calm myself back down enough to go to bed. and most days whether I'm upset with him or not, i would give anything to make sure he's alright and he's got everything he needs. i don't think he knows that. i want him to though, i want him to understand why i put up with him...not because i have need to, because i want to.
don't read beyond this line if you don't wanna know what happens to our two very mortal but extremely fictitious characters!
************************************************************************************
as for book two....honestly i think I've completely forgotten all about it, but i think I'm finally in the right state of mind to write it, esp with everything that's been going on. i just feel like i can make her do my will, and i feel like i can make him love her enough to let another man become her priority...but i don't know if it'll come to that...i don't know where the story is taking me...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Hi World
Haha, I bet you think this is gonna be a rave huh? Think again! Okay well it'll be half and half.
~Raves~
Rant 1: that i went and bought Alice and Wonderland..I actually liked it! I guess it's because I haven't seen the original. My original disney movie (seen) list is pretty much still at like a single digit number.
Rave 2: I'm about to be Auntie Dubbed Twice, Ana is pregnant with her second baby!
Rave 3: I LOVEEEEE my Sims! As usual, most of you would've figure this.
Rave 4: STARBUCKS!!! Venti Extra Carmel Caramel Machiatto, iced, mixed and melted! Mmmmh Mmmmmh So Delicious.
Rave 5: I went to a Hibacchi on like 67th and Bell and OH GEEZE it was sooo good! Ya'll should try it!
Rants:
Rant 1: Men, you need to make up your fucking mind. lol! I'm so tired of waiting and waiting for an answer, in fact i'm putting a time limit on the time im going to wait 30 minutes. I will wait 30 minutes for you to give me an answer...if there's no response well then thats your fault.
Rant 2: I cannot fathom to think that a best friend would go as far as you have. To text someone i am with and proposition him to have sex..oh and thats not even the worse part. YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND! have sex with him. Stay away from me, my heart, and every man i encounter. Oh and heads up, your not gonna get anywhere prorastinating.
Rant 3: My communications teacher seems to think having two tests in one week is fun... it's not especially when you have a single day in between the two!GAHHH
Rant 4: I have to write and essay thats 2,500 words...Research paper actually. I'm doing it on insest...i'm kind of worried.
~Raves~
Rant 1: that i went and bought Alice and Wonderland..I actually liked it! I guess it's because I haven't seen the original. My original disney movie (seen) list is pretty much still at like a single digit number.
Rave 2: I'm about to be Auntie Dubbed Twice, Ana is pregnant with her second baby!
Rave 3: I LOVEEEEE my Sims! As usual, most of you would've figure this.
Rave 4: STARBUCKS!!! Venti Extra Carmel Caramel Machiatto, iced, mixed and melted! Mmmmh Mmmmmh So Delicious.
Rave 5: I went to a Hibacchi on like 67th and Bell and OH GEEZE it was sooo good! Ya'll should try it!
Rants:
Rant 1: Men, you need to make up your fucking mind. lol! I'm so tired of waiting and waiting for an answer, in fact i'm putting a time limit on the time im going to wait 30 minutes. I will wait 30 minutes for you to give me an answer...if there's no response well then thats your fault.
Rant 2: I cannot fathom to think that a best friend would go as far as you have. To text someone i am with and proposition him to have sex..oh and thats not even the worse part. YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND! have sex with him. Stay away from me, my heart, and every man i encounter. Oh and heads up, your not gonna get anywhere prorastinating.
Rant 3: My communications teacher seems to think having two tests in one week is fun... it's not especially when you have a single day in between the two!GAHHH
Rant 4: I have to write and essay thats 2,500 words...Research paper actually. I'm doing it on insest...i'm kind of worried.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Clarification
Yes, my name is Angelia Johnson, yes, my name is also Andrea Wilson, I had a name change 13 years ago. I go by both, mainly everyone calls me Andi, or Ange, or Angie, anything works. But it drives me NUTS when you don't say my name right, don't be afraid to ask how to say it, its not like i bite or anything.
Yesterday i was talking to someone and they actually had the nerve to say "why are you going to school to be come a teacher, there's no money in it, it'll just be a waste of your intelligence..." Well, if you know me, you know I'm not all about the designer clothes, designer house, or designer shit...or money in general. I'm the girl that loves to love. I love kids, and they generally love me. I've wanted to be a teacher all my life, and i want to make a difference in this world. besides, who would you be and what would you know without teachers?
Yesterday i was talking to someone and they actually had the nerve to say "why are you going to school to be come a teacher, there's no money in it, it'll just be a waste of your intelligence..." Well, if you know me, you know I'm not all about the designer clothes, designer house, or designer shit...or money in general. I'm the girl that loves to love. I love kids, and they generally love me. I've wanted to be a teacher all my life, and i want to make a difference in this world. besides, who would you be and what would you know without teachers?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
So Here's The DL
Im still in school...can you believe that? Well i love it, anyways i love teaching my first graders they bring so much light and joy into my world, and every friday i look forward to seeing them.
I miss my friends from school, it seems we've all just decided we're no longer friends...pretty shitty right? i guess thats what happeneds when your the one who knows how to manage her time.
One of my friends was just recently married and had a little girl, who is my niece, and she's just the cutest little thing...
Another one is in massage therapy school and i think she loves it.
Nate if you remember who he is, is hopefully getting engaged...i'm very happy he's found someone to rock his world.
Work is work...um well it's been pretty shitty lately, people are just assholes and have no respect, or they don't know how to communicate and thats driving me nuts.
i still love my truck, and well for the most part it loves me except that day when i had to ask some random person for a jump and then had to figure out how to install a battery all on my own...
anyways have a good month! if i don't get to you sooner...
I miss my friends from school, it seems we've all just decided we're no longer friends...pretty shitty right? i guess thats what happeneds when your the one who knows how to manage her time.
One of my friends was just recently married and had a little girl, who is my niece, and she's just the cutest little thing...
Another one is in massage therapy school and i think she loves it.
Nate if you remember who he is, is hopefully getting engaged...i'm very happy he's found someone to rock his world.
Work is work...um well it's been pretty shitty lately, people are just assholes and have no respect, or they don't know how to communicate and thats driving me nuts.
i still love my truck, and well for the most part it loves me except that day when i had to ask some random person for a jump and then had to figure out how to install a battery all on my own...
anyways have a good month! if i don't get to you sooner...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sex Education, and Why It isn't taught...
What is so taboo, about teaching sexual education to today’s youths? What is so private and mystifying that parents, won’t talk to their kids about practicing, not abstinence, but safe sex?
Okay heres my stand…I don’t believe in abstinence…maybe in a world 50 years ago, but definitely not today’s world. Our youths are too exposed to sexual images, the image of being perfectly skinny, and giving it up. The rap we listen to teaches our young boys how to treat women. Songs are no longer about stories, and innocent summer love, they’re about putting out, and seeking revenge when things don’t work out. What happened to good old led zeppelins’ ‘Going to California’? Everyone is walking in circles wondering why Arizona has the HIGHEST teen pregnancy rating…I’ll tell you why….It’s because we DON’T talk to our kids about sex, and if we are, it’s either way TOO EARLY, or way TOO LATE. If you talk to them before 6th/7th grade they won’t remember what you taught them, and by the time they’re a sophomore or junior year in high school, they probably know more about sex than you do. Our schools are teaching it in health education, but they aren’t spending enough time on it. I wish when I was in high school someone had told me how much it costs for baby formula, or a sonogram….I wish someone would’ve told me that some STD’s don’t ever go away. I wish someone would’ve had the decency to show me how to use a condom, just in case. But no one ever did, I learned that all on my own, IN COLLEGE. In my opinion that’s way to late to be learning about sex. Most of my friends have been through one of these things, and I too have experienced my own problems with being left out of the loop.
I will continue to preach SAFE SEX, NOT ABSTINENCE…Because come on lets face it, sex is just amazing, and well at the age of 16 you can bet teens hormones are raging, and rather then asking them to stop, which you know they wont, buy your son a box of condoms, put your daughter on birth control. Show them it costs 25 dollars for 1 can of powdered baby formula. And for goodness sakes, please and im begging here, if and when they come home to you and they are pregnant of their girlfriend is, try to be more understanding, and supportive. There are options out there.
Alright that’s the end of my rant, enjoy your weekend.
Okay heres my stand…I don’t believe in abstinence…maybe in a world 50 years ago, but definitely not today’s world. Our youths are too exposed to sexual images, the image of being perfectly skinny, and giving it up. The rap we listen to teaches our young boys how to treat women. Songs are no longer about stories, and innocent summer love, they’re about putting out, and seeking revenge when things don’t work out. What happened to good old led zeppelins’ ‘Going to California’? Everyone is walking in circles wondering why Arizona has the HIGHEST teen pregnancy rating…I’ll tell you why….It’s because we DON’T talk to our kids about sex, and if we are, it’s either way TOO EARLY, or way TOO LATE. If you talk to them before 6th/7th grade they won’t remember what you taught them, and by the time they’re a sophomore or junior year in high school, they probably know more about sex than you do. Our schools are teaching it in health education, but they aren’t spending enough time on it. I wish when I was in high school someone had told me how much it costs for baby formula, or a sonogram….I wish someone would’ve told me that some STD’s don’t ever go away. I wish someone would’ve had the decency to show me how to use a condom, just in case. But no one ever did, I learned that all on my own, IN COLLEGE. In my opinion that’s way to late to be learning about sex. Most of my friends have been through one of these things, and I too have experienced my own problems with being left out of the loop.
I will continue to preach SAFE SEX, NOT ABSTINENCE…Because come on lets face it, sex is just amazing, and well at the age of 16 you can bet teens hormones are raging, and rather then asking them to stop, which you know they wont, buy your son a box of condoms, put your daughter on birth control. Show them it costs 25 dollars for 1 can of powdered baby formula. And for goodness sakes, please and im begging here, if and when they come home to you and they are pregnant of their girlfriend is, try to be more understanding, and supportive. There are options out there.
Alright that’s the end of my rant, enjoy your weekend.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Are You Listening?
Are You REALLY Listening?
Are you listening? Or are you hearing? Maybe you are over-listening, to words, I am not saying but you think I am, because you think you know me, because you THINK you’ve got me pinpointed. They say it just takes a little patience…but how much is a little defined when it comes to you? Because I often find my patience is wearing thin, because half the time when you talk it’s over my head and when I ask for clarification you often get frustrated and tell me to forget about it? Well what if I DON’T WANT TO? I want you to SPEAK TO ME, not OVER me.
It’s not an age gap issue, as I thought it once was, because I know that I can clearly communicate with any adult and be able to intellectually stimulate my brain in the process.
Why can’t I do that with you? What is it about you that’s so challenging?
On the other hand, for me you require almost, if not all of my patience at the end of the day, because you are something completely new and ‘untouched’ by my hands. I’m used to being pushed far away into the back of the corner, and then being tightly suffocated into a bound around someone’s finger. I have been the spoiled, but the lied to. I’ve been told often times I am not good enough and still stuck it through, because that’s what the good girlfriend does, she sticks by her man whether he is right or wrong.
Are you still listening? Or did you revert to hearing?
I don’t want to be tightly bound around your finger but I don’t want to be pushed away, I want you to have your life, and I want mine, and what I do during me time shall not be judged, because once again you DON’T have me pinpointed.
You may think me a loner, and that’s fine go ahead and think, I don’t give a shit.
Because I choose to stimulate my brain, challenging myself with new rhythms, or playing with words. Alternatively, because I’d rather be cosmic bowling than at a club partying it up. Because I was raised to be the good kid, the obedient child, the one who grows up to be successful in her chosen field, but a house wife none the less. I don’t judge what you do, in your ‘me’ time. It’s not my place.
BUT just so you know, I didn’t used to be the loaner.
it just sort of happens when you begin to lose your friends to freak car accidents, and house fires. Or when your best friend tells you, that you have no right to be moving on with your life, because she has yet to move on with her own. It happens when you graduate from high school with your best friend and you move on to college without her, and you are forced to grow and cultivate new relationships. It’s not easy making a new best friend when you can trust no one around you. And the only two other people you have left in your life, are in Greenland or in Oregon, getting on with their own ‘new’ lives. I’m alright spending my nights at home, I’m at a point where I’m ready to settle down, and start a family, finish my degree and have my own classroom, I’m READY. I don’t need to party and have lots of friends, I just need a few good friends and some really good food. But don’t let that fool you, it’s not like I’m saying I don’t like to go out and do shit, I honestly do, it’s just I’d rather not do it as much as most people do.
I don’t need to have a glass of alcohol and a cigarette to have a good time. I just need entertainment, food, and laughter. I am a family person, my life revolves around it.
Do I still have your attention?
If not, stop reading and come back to me later.
I do not like it when you speak to me, in a language I do not fully understand, and it is not because I’m not capable. It’s just you talk so damn weird and it takes awhile for me to catch on, I think I once told you, I like it plain and simple, I may have at the time used the word ‘blunt’….but I meant plain and simple. Simplistic words on ordinary paper speak the loudest. I want you to speak with me, and to me, not over my head and into a world that I have never set foot into.
I’m not ready for that journey.
Please do not forget that I am still fighting to find out who I am, because my life revolved around family, up until I met you, and you forced me to see things your way.
I lost, probably one the most supportive people in my family on my 16th birthday, and although at the time all that I could muster was anger towards that person for taking my special day away, I regret it now, and it is the only reason I continue to take leaps on my journey through a world of classical music.
A friend of mine died in a freak car accident and I still have not recovered, because he was like my family.
Almost two years ago on may 17th another family member as well as several others, but I speak of this one because he was dear to my heart passed on. He did not live to see me graduate from high school but I know he was there the night of when my cousin knew I needed a shoulder got me drunk and ate my stir fry, even though I knew it had all gone bad because earlier that day someone else made it about them as this person usually does and it went downhill from there.
Special Days do not warrant their time on me.
Now after losing these KEY people in my life plus my three best friends, and starting college…things in my life are moving on MY TIME. And that is when I have ME time.
I do not think of myself, I think of those around me and the goals that are set to make the community, or environment around me better. You can bet I’d much rather spend my time making sure your okay and your happy, then spend time making sure I am happy. It’s just how I know to make things work.
Keep reading, come on you can do it!
BUT SEE, you, oh you are so different. You are able to come and go as you please, and of course that’s warranted, because you are a big boy, and although at times you don’t not act like one, you never seem to let me forget how strong you are. Just because you’ve experienced your life, does not mean you are wise. That’s right I said it, experience is nothing gained without observation. That’s how we achieve wisdom in this life.
You have a job, and you were on track to finish a degree in a place that was your personal circle of hell, with your own deemed Satan. I have news for you, your not there anymore, your in my personal circle of hell, so lemme tell you New Kid, you don’t fit in and that’s attractive, but now it’s time for you to come off your cloud nine so I can show you the ropes. The past is the past…that’s why it’s called the PAST. Tomorrow is the FUTURE and that’s why it’s a gift, and today, well you can only deal with the problems you have today…today…and when you close your eyes and drift off in blankness and you reawaken it’s a new day, and it’s a whole new set of problems. So think critically and if what you did yesterday didn’t work out so well, broaden your horizon and try something different.
You made it on your own at a young age, and I get the feeling you think everyone should be just like you, well forget it, some of us, need a completely stable environment 100 percent of the time. Some of us have a desire to be on our own, but we’re not stupid and we’re not gonna put ourselves out there in a situation that could cause any form of malnutrition whether mental or physical. So we stay, in our hell, escaping the scorching heat by mere centimeters, and we will gladly suffer another day if we know that when we come home at the end of the day, we’re really coming home to place that is ours.
It’s alright to live by trial and error, just as you have done, but it’s only alright if trial and error is followed by succession in what you originally aimed for. Please don’t forget that.
You are strong in a way that I could only hope to put on paper, and you wade through things without thinking about them, and boy I only wish I could do that. But your baggage, and my baggage are not the same, your fighting the fight for the place you want to call home, and yet you seem to take no action in making it personally yours. Oh yeah, fighting with idiots will only put your name on the mortgage, and maybe the title when you pay it off. But your home should be a reflection on you, and to me…it’s a disorganized mess….that’s not what you really are. I know you’re a kind, gentle, loving, and extremely passionate person…show that to me. I on the other hand have to fight for a part of my life, because I’m sick of being silly putty. It’s my own fight, and identity crisis, is a personal thing, even when ones parents can’t seem to put that through their thick heads. I’m moving forward though…being a loaner kind of helps.
Please just remember, I don’t need you to tell me when I making a good or bad life choice.
Remember, you are not my brother, or my father, you are a friend and a lover. That is your place in my life, and I do not appreciate it when you tell me what I can and cannot say and to whom. I do not like it when you tell me to shut up within 2 minutes of getting on the phone with you; it’s not the way to treat me. If your gonna get buzzed and be an asshole, then do so without calling me, I don’t have the energy for that shit.
I need you to call me and say hi, or just simply send a text my way, so I know your alright and things between us are cool. I don’t need three hour conversations every night. Occasionally, but I’m not needy in that sense, yes I need attention but I’m fine getting cute messages before bed time, even if it’s all you say…that’s cool…for now.
I need for you to experience new things with me, like cosmic bowling, rock climbing, ice skating, laser tag, come with me for a drive, and just get lost, because we all know getting lost always brings out amazing experiences.
Show me what a real boyfriend is, and for christs sake LET ME IN! I mean god, let me do your dishes if I cook and don’t complain. Let me meet your friends and form my own opinion for myself. And LET THEM form their own opinions of me. Let me show you who I am, without you trying to analyze every part of me, because I’m not all about the frustrated tiny insignificant tantrums, and I’m not getting what I want because I’m a spoiled little daddie’s girl. MY GOD I am far from it, and if that’s what you thought, then you my boy are far fetched.
Are you listening? Or are you hearing? Maybe you are over-listening, to words, I am not saying but you think I am, because you think you know me, because you THINK you’ve got me pinpointed. They say it just takes a little patience…but how much is a little defined when it comes to you? Because I often find my patience is wearing thin, because half the time when you talk it’s over my head and when I ask for clarification you often get frustrated and tell me to forget about it? Well what if I DON’T WANT TO? I want you to SPEAK TO ME, not OVER me.
It’s not an age gap issue, as I thought it once was, because I know that I can clearly communicate with any adult and be able to intellectually stimulate my brain in the process.
Why can’t I do that with you? What is it about you that’s so challenging?
On the other hand, for me you require almost, if not all of my patience at the end of the day, because you are something completely new and ‘untouched’ by my hands. I’m used to being pushed far away into the back of the corner, and then being tightly suffocated into a bound around someone’s finger. I have been the spoiled, but the lied to. I’ve been told often times I am not good enough and still stuck it through, because that’s what the good girlfriend does, she sticks by her man whether he is right or wrong.
Are you still listening? Or did you revert to hearing?
I don’t want to be tightly bound around your finger but I don’t want to be pushed away, I want you to have your life, and I want mine, and what I do during me time shall not be judged, because once again you DON’T have me pinpointed.
You may think me a loner, and that’s fine go ahead and think, I don’t give a shit.
Because I choose to stimulate my brain, challenging myself with new rhythms, or playing with words. Alternatively, because I’d rather be cosmic bowling than at a club partying it up. Because I was raised to be the good kid, the obedient child, the one who grows up to be successful in her chosen field, but a house wife none the less. I don’t judge what you do, in your ‘me’ time. It’s not my place.
BUT just so you know, I didn’t used to be the loaner.
it just sort of happens when you begin to lose your friends to freak car accidents, and house fires. Or when your best friend tells you, that you have no right to be moving on with your life, because she has yet to move on with her own. It happens when you graduate from high school with your best friend and you move on to college without her, and you are forced to grow and cultivate new relationships. It’s not easy making a new best friend when you can trust no one around you. And the only two other people you have left in your life, are in Greenland or in Oregon, getting on with their own ‘new’ lives. I’m alright spending my nights at home, I’m at a point where I’m ready to settle down, and start a family, finish my degree and have my own classroom, I’m READY. I don’t need to party and have lots of friends, I just need a few good friends and some really good food. But don’t let that fool you, it’s not like I’m saying I don’t like to go out and do shit, I honestly do, it’s just I’d rather not do it as much as most people do.
I don’t need to have a glass of alcohol and a cigarette to have a good time. I just need entertainment, food, and laughter. I am a family person, my life revolves around it.
Do I still have your attention?
If not, stop reading and come back to me later.
I do not like it when you speak to me, in a language I do not fully understand, and it is not because I’m not capable. It’s just you talk so damn weird and it takes awhile for me to catch on, I think I once told you, I like it plain and simple, I may have at the time used the word ‘blunt’….but I meant plain and simple. Simplistic words on ordinary paper speak the loudest. I want you to speak with me, and to me, not over my head and into a world that I have never set foot into.
I’m not ready for that journey.
Please do not forget that I am still fighting to find out who I am, because my life revolved around family, up until I met you, and you forced me to see things your way.
I lost, probably one the most supportive people in my family on my 16th birthday, and although at the time all that I could muster was anger towards that person for taking my special day away, I regret it now, and it is the only reason I continue to take leaps on my journey through a world of classical music.
A friend of mine died in a freak car accident and I still have not recovered, because he was like my family.
Almost two years ago on may 17th another family member as well as several others, but I speak of this one because he was dear to my heart passed on. He did not live to see me graduate from high school but I know he was there the night of when my cousin knew I needed a shoulder got me drunk and ate my stir fry, even though I knew it had all gone bad because earlier that day someone else made it about them as this person usually does and it went downhill from there.
Special Days do not warrant their time on me.
Now after losing these KEY people in my life plus my three best friends, and starting college…things in my life are moving on MY TIME. And that is when I have ME time.
I do not think of myself, I think of those around me and the goals that are set to make the community, or environment around me better. You can bet I’d much rather spend my time making sure your okay and your happy, then spend time making sure I am happy. It’s just how I know to make things work.
Keep reading, come on you can do it!
BUT SEE, you, oh you are so different. You are able to come and go as you please, and of course that’s warranted, because you are a big boy, and although at times you don’t not act like one, you never seem to let me forget how strong you are. Just because you’ve experienced your life, does not mean you are wise. That’s right I said it, experience is nothing gained without observation. That’s how we achieve wisdom in this life.
You have a job, and you were on track to finish a degree in a place that was your personal circle of hell, with your own deemed Satan. I have news for you, your not there anymore, your in my personal circle of hell, so lemme tell you New Kid, you don’t fit in and that’s attractive, but now it’s time for you to come off your cloud nine so I can show you the ropes. The past is the past…that’s why it’s called the PAST. Tomorrow is the FUTURE and that’s why it’s a gift, and today, well you can only deal with the problems you have today…today…and when you close your eyes and drift off in blankness and you reawaken it’s a new day, and it’s a whole new set of problems. So think critically and if what you did yesterday didn’t work out so well, broaden your horizon and try something different.
You made it on your own at a young age, and I get the feeling you think everyone should be just like you, well forget it, some of us, need a completely stable environment 100 percent of the time. Some of us have a desire to be on our own, but we’re not stupid and we’re not gonna put ourselves out there in a situation that could cause any form of malnutrition whether mental or physical. So we stay, in our hell, escaping the scorching heat by mere centimeters, and we will gladly suffer another day if we know that when we come home at the end of the day, we’re really coming home to place that is ours.
It’s alright to live by trial and error, just as you have done, but it’s only alright if trial and error is followed by succession in what you originally aimed for. Please don’t forget that.
You are strong in a way that I could only hope to put on paper, and you wade through things without thinking about them, and boy I only wish I could do that. But your baggage, and my baggage are not the same, your fighting the fight for the place you want to call home, and yet you seem to take no action in making it personally yours. Oh yeah, fighting with idiots will only put your name on the mortgage, and maybe the title when you pay it off. But your home should be a reflection on you, and to me…it’s a disorganized mess….that’s not what you really are. I know you’re a kind, gentle, loving, and extremely passionate person…show that to me. I on the other hand have to fight for a part of my life, because I’m sick of being silly putty. It’s my own fight, and identity crisis, is a personal thing, even when ones parents can’t seem to put that through their thick heads. I’m moving forward though…being a loaner kind of helps.
Please just remember, I don’t need you to tell me when I making a good or bad life choice.
Remember, you are not my brother, or my father, you are a friend and a lover. That is your place in my life, and I do not appreciate it when you tell me what I can and cannot say and to whom. I do not like it when you tell me to shut up within 2 minutes of getting on the phone with you; it’s not the way to treat me. If your gonna get buzzed and be an asshole, then do so without calling me, I don’t have the energy for that shit.
I need you to call me and say hi, or just simply send a text my way, so I know your alright and things between us are cool. I don’t need three hour conversations every night. Occasionally, but I’m not needy in that sense, yes I need attention but I’m fine getting cute messages before bed time, even if it’s all you say…that’s cool…for now.
I need for you to experience new things with me, like cosmic bowling, rock climbing, ice skating, laser tag, come with me for a drive, and just get lost, because we all know getting lost always brings out amazing experiences.
Show me what a real boyfriend is, and for christs sake LET ME IN! I mean god, let me do your dishes if I cook and don’t complain. Let me meet your friends and form my own opinion for myself. And LET THEM form their own opinions of me. Let me show you who I am, without you trying to analyze every part of me, because I’m not all about the frustrated tiny insignificant tantrums, and I’m not getting what I want because I’m a spoiled little daddie’s girl. MY GOD I am far from it, and if that’s what you thought, then you my boy are far fetched.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Updates and of Course There's Some Rants
BOOK UPDATE:
Lately, i've been a bunch of questions about the newest edition to my novel series. Do nathan and aribella make it? What happens with Kaia? Are Joel and Taylor still together? Are the boys going to be more into this novel? What's the major conflict? Well lemmee tell you all Chapter 1(The Things I Do) is underway and if you want to know what happens you'll just have to keep on reading. I know it's slightly addicting but i'm writing as fast as I can. I promise before you know it you'll have book two bounded and finished before your eyes. Thanks for the support and comments though it means a lot.
Life Update:
I'm now into mid semester of my first year and already I feel that I have exhausted all my patience...I feel a lot smarter in my classes than I probably should. That's not a good thing. My favorite teacher is for once my band teacher...One guy who knows what working and hard and having fun doing it means. I wish he could duplicate all my teachers. I really do. Work is as usual work...a bit slower and a bit more stressful, but what isn't in our lives right now? Can't wait till i'm 19, endless possibilities. Home life is ever changing, which i can't help but notice. I'm rarely home during the week but when i am i'm generally alone, or i am sleeping. I see my parents for about 3 hours (if that) out of my day. it's not that upsetting. I feel we are growing a part. I have a new boy in my life. He's mr. amazing, and he makes me super happy. ITS EXTREMELY different for me, and as i always say it's begun to become a learning process, and i'm happy to learn. No other details to give you here(none that i'm willing to share anyways).
The Daily Blog:
Arizona driving. I HATE ARIZONA DRIVERS. to the extent that i now scream at them in my car. There are idiots at 8:00 in the morning trying to back up in the fucking intersection. Who does that shit? i mean really? There are others doing 60 in a 40 and worst people doing 30 in a 40. People swerve out of lanes to avoid the valley metro bus, it's going to cause an accident one of these days. Another is that people can't freaking decide whether or not they're going to stop. on my way into the parking lot at school there was a line of cars waiting in the intersection, all because this one idiot decided it would be fun to start stop ever 2 feet in the parking lot, because he can't drive his SUV. SO FREAKING ANNOYING!
Look for another blog next week...or later this week if i have time....BTW there's a new SIMS3 game coming out...you can check it out here at www.thesims3.com Also The Trans-Siberian Orchestra is coming to phoenix for 2 performances on the 6Th of December! Tix are reasonably priced.
And New Moon the second installation of the twilight movie series has a new trailer you can find at www.stepheniemeyer.com on the movies page. That's set for release on the 20Th of November!
.Let love and Be Loved.
*Angelia*
Lately, i've been a bunch of questions about the newest edition to my novel series. Do nathan and aribella make it? What happens with Kaia? Are Joel and Taylor still together? Are the boys going to be more into this novel? What's the major conflict? Well lemmee tell you all Chapter 1(The Things I Do) is underway and if you want to know what happens you'll just have to keep on reading. I know it's slightly addicting but i'm writing as fast as I can. I promise before you know it you'll have book two bounded and finished before your eyes. Thanks for the support and comments though it means a lot.
Life Update:
I'm now into mid semester of my first year and already I feel that I have exhausted all my patience...I feel a lot smarter in my classes than I probably should. That's not a good thing. My favorite teacher is for once my band teacher...One guy who knows what working and hard and having fun doing it means. I wish he could duplicate all my teachers. I really do. Work is as usual work...a bit slower and a bit more stressful, but what isn't in our lives right now? Can't wait till i'm 19, endless possibilities. Home life is ever changing, which i can't help but notice. I'm rarely home during the week but when i am i'm generally alone, or i am sleeping. I see my parents for about 3 hours (if that) out of my day. it's not that upsetting. I feel we are growing a part. I have a new boy in my life. He's mr. amazing, and he makes me super happy. ITS EXTREMELY different for me, and as i always say it's begun to become a learning process, and i'm happy to learn. No other details to give you here(none that i'm willing to share anyways).
The Daily Blog:
Arizona driving. I HATE ARIZONA DRIVERS. to the extent that i now scream at them in my car. There are idiots at 8:00 in the morning trying to back up in the fucking intersection. Who does that shit? i mean really? There are others doing 60 in a 40 and worst people doing 30 in a 40. People swerve out of lanes to avoid the valley metro bus, it's going to cause an accident one of these days. Another is that people can't freaking decide whether or not they're going to stop. on my way into the parking lot at school there was a line of cars waiting in the intersection, all because this one idiot decided it would be fun to start stop ever 2 feet in the parking lot, because he can't drive his SUV. SO FREAKING ANNOYING!
Look for another blog next week...or later this week if i have time....BTW there's a new SIMS3 game coming out...you can check it out here at www.thesims3.com Also The Trans-Siberian Orchestra is coming to phoenix for 2 performances on the 6Th of December! Tix are reasonably priced.
And New Moon the second installation of the twilight movie series has a new trailer you can find at www.stepheniemeyer.com on the movies page. That's set for release on the 20Th of November!
.Let love and Be Loved.
*Angelia*
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