Who I Am

Who I Am
I am a flightless bird standing on rocky ground. I struggle relentlessly to be seen as an adult in the eyes of my parents. I depend on music to pull me through my depression days, and nothing else, I’m afraid if I tell anyone how I really feel they may judge me in a light that is undesirable, and create a mental picture that is untrue to who I am. I am musically enlightened; playing the stories of others pleases me. I write to break the chains of norm, and when someone asks me “Who are you?” my response is a screaming silent emotion of happiness, anger, sadness, and frustration. I am the girl who will change a life with simplistic words on ordinary paper. I am the girl who everyone dumps their issues on, and I hold it in like a honey bee. I listen as my friends talk, because I know their parents only hear them. I am the loving one, the one who wants a simple life and a small family. I am the one my own parents depend on to help pay the bills. I only tell my fears and problems to the only one who really cares about me, because I believe he’s the only one who understands the hardships life has forced upon me. I work to keep afloat, but it’s barely enough, the struggling life of an emerging adult is not an easy one. I know in ten years it will come back to me tenfold, because as they say you get what you put in. I am the one who is afraid of getting old, not dying. I am shy when people ask me to describe myself, as if they’ve never seen me before. I am blue eyed with blonde hair, and I am judged simply on my looks because of blonde jokes. At the end of the day I am the strong one. The cheerful face when the whole world happens to be crushing down on your shoulders.

I am someone who loves big band music and I hate it when people make me listen to screamo or techno. I love school and I don’t like to be made fun of for it. I am the only child in my family to go on to college with the hopes of actually earning a degree and graduating from it. I am determined and strong willed. I am reluctant and stubborn. I am the youngest child in the family, and I hate how it makes my parents feel they need to treat me differently. I am technically the little sister, but in reality I play the big sister to my big sister. I am technologically capable and I have issues with people who don’t do the posted speed limit. I am the “go-to” in all aspects of my life, my job, my family and my friends. I am an adult temporarily stuck in a teenagers’ body, I can’t force people to see or understand that concept, and I can only ask and hope they might. I am generally cold even though it’s usually always over one-hundred degree’s in Phoenix, Arizona. I’m impossible when it comes down to watching horror movies, and I hate when characters are injured. I’d prefer to watch something funny, or something adorable, rather than something a typical adult would choose to watch. I really am sociable; I just don’t like it when others cloud my bubble. I am an open book, waiting for someone to discover the incredible journey I’ve been continuing for the last eighteen years. I am an aunt. I am a lover and a dog owner, and I don’t agree with cats. I am a child of poverty who became a child who learned the meaning of true hard work. I am a boss, and I am a friend. I’m the girl who’d rather be tearing up her knees climbing up a rock wall than having a massage or pedicure. I’m the girl at the back of the class waiting for someone to light the creativity I know I have. I am gifted in my own right, and it did not come to me over night. I have worked years to become these puzzle pieces; they make the bigger picture that is me. To some people I am the world, and I am perfectly fine with that.

Time!

Time is Relavant...! Heard that somewhere? How about time is irelevant? It really is. Why do we as americans depend on time? all the time? Can't we just wake up and look to see if the sun is out? or can't we just make time for that movie we want to see even though it could possibly be a 2 1/2 hour movie...Why do we always find ourselves asking "do i have time?" YES YOU HAVE TIME!!! you just think you don't, because your too busy running around all the time; and when you're not running around, your either sleeping, or cleaning the house, taking care of the kids. When was the last time one of us really made time for ourselves? If we all made this so called 'time' for ourselves, we might be nicer people, because we've destressed by actually taking care of ourselves. Admit it we as americans are consumed with TIME! how much time is it going to take to cook the pizza? how long is this show? what time do you have to go to work? what time will you be home? how long are you going to be gone?

doesn't it get annoying after awhile? So for the next week i challenge you to not base your life on time! Try it. See how much better you feel doing things on your own time. yes, i understand there will be circumstances where you will have to be 'on time' for things...but try to work around it.

Have a Great Non-Time Consuming Experience.